Be Intentional

You know the routine. You arrive home late from work, kick of your shoes, loosen the tie, untuck the shirt, and start thumbing through the mail; sorting the bills from the credit card applications and advertisements. About that time your wife arrives home from picking up the kids from soccer and ballet and the clothes from the dry cleaners. She lovingly tosses your Subway sandwich on the counter and delivers a tender kiss to your cheek. Since everyone else ate dinner in the car, you'll enjoy your 6" Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki at the computer while you pay the bills and check the S&P 500. If you're lucky, the kids will interrupt you with a few questions on their homework. And if you are amazingly blessed, your wife will ask you to help give the toddler a bath. With the kids down for the night, you are back to paying bills which will require a typical discussion with your wife about budget, priorities, and spending. You catch the local news as your wife goes off to bed. You slip in beside her later and catch some rest before starting all over tomorrow.

If this sounds familiar, you are not alone. For such is the life of every man in American who is content with leaving the leadership of his home to chance. That may sound harsh and maybe there is nothing inherently evil with this routine, but I believe God has something different in mind when he calls a man to lead his family. We must be intentional about engaging our families in the pursuit of Godliness. We must be intentional about developing Christian character in our children. And we must be intentional about sharing Christ's love with our neighbors. Being intentional will change your routine. Try it!

Neotony Needed

I was honored this week to be a student of world renown speaker and author, Kevin Caroll. Google him and you can find all kinds of fun resources. Kevin challenged a group of us in Dallas this week to reintroduce "play" into our daily routine. He gave us permission to resign from the traditional world of adulthood and assume the responsibilities of an 8 year old again. He opened our eyes to how adults today have become overly rigid; convinced that in order to be taken serious, we have to BE serious; convinced that playful imagination, dreams, and storytelling have no place in the board room; convinced that the insatiable curiosity of our children must be replaced by practical realism to ensure their success. How wrong could we be?! This week I've come to realize that the complexities of the world in which we live require playful camaraderie, naive creativity, imaginative solutions, and a childlike faith in miracles. And the best part...there is acually an "adult" word for this concept. Neotony - "the state resulting when juvenile characteristics are retained by the adult of a species." Cool huh? So here's my challenge to you. Consider areas of your life where you could interject some play this week. At home, at work, at church? When you decide to resign your adulthood and assume the responsibilities of an 8 year old, you can tackle problems from an entirely different perspective; color outside the lines so to speak. You can unlock your creativity by replacing practical reality with an anything-is-possible attitude. Imagine hearing your kids say, "when I grow up, I want to have fun like daddy."

On a personal note...I have to acknowledge the influence of my wife of 22 years for her role in keeping things fun for me. Thanks Bec, for marshmallow blow guns, toe-to-toe push wars, silly Ray Stevens songs, and an occasional pededal. You inspire me.

Observations on Fireworks

We ended our family Christmas celebrations with a firework finale at my in-laws this week. It's one of my favorite traditions. Typically I approach the occasion with a simple attitude; have fun, try not to scare the kids and dogs too much, and avoid a grass fire that could send central Texas up in smoke. But for unexplained reasons, this year the entire event came under careful introspective scrutiny on the quiet drive home that evening. For lack of anything better to occupy my thoughts, I began to ponder what it is within our human DNA that separates those who spectate fireworks from those who experience fireworks. Why is it some are content to "ooh and aah" over the brilliant explosions in the sky from their folding chair on the front porch while others of us aren't happy unless we are holding a stick of mild explosives in our hand for a couple of extra seconds after the fuse is lit? Why do some prefer to watch from the window while others of us feel the experience is incomplete unless we can smell the sulfur and gunpowder, unless our ears ring from the explosions, unless we are defying every safety warning and aiming the rockets just over our brother-in-law's head, and unless we walk away with a few burn marks in our jeans? We arrived home before I could completely resolve the issue. So, a question for you...what distinguishes the spectator from the "full-on" firework enthusiast?

Leadership Discipline

I'm proud of you for reading past this title. "Discipline" is not something most of us are interested in hearing about. But I've been consumed lately with thoughts about why some leaders seem to endure and others have a fairly short career at the helm and, to large degree, I think it boils down to discipline. We usually think of discipline in terms of hard work, perseverance, burning the midnight oil, or sacrificing for the team to get the job done. In many cases, these are in fact traits that describe most successful leaders. However, I believe there is another short list of disciplines that are absolutely critical though conventional wisdom would not necessarily associate these characteristics with good leadership traits.

Just a few of the often overlooked disciplines:

• Balancing work and home life - I strongly believe that the best leaders are those who prioritize taking care of their family and leading at home. Every leader needs a place to retreat for rest, relaxation, and encouragement. "Home" can be such a place but only if we choose to make the necessary investments. (see "Castle Walls" from 11/05/06 blog)


• Taking care of your body - Leadership stamina requires a healthy body. All too often leaders will set aside their own health and well being when the schedule becomes chaotic. I propose that the health risks associated with the added stress of leadership are all the more reason we should prioritize taking care of our bodies. Approximately 77% of men and 61% of women are overweight and only 31% of men and 29% of women engage in at least moderate physical activity on a regular basis (American Heart Association Annual Report 2006). Leaders must have the discipline to develop healthy habits.


• Schedule time for reflection and introspection - The executive leader is driven by schedule and agenda; both of which are typically overly optimistic of what can be accomplished in a given time allotment. Even the greatest of intentions will not win out over the next appointment beeping in on the blackberry. Therefore, if we are not intentional about scheduling time out for personal reading, reflection and prayer, the time will be filled with something or somebody else. Schedule a daily appointment WITH YOURSELF!


• Be an intentional listener - I'm always surprised how easy it is for me to go through the day and never really solicit anyone else's ideas. It is far too easy for us as leaders to fall into the trap of always being the one with the answer to give and never being the one with the question to satisfy. Imagine what we could learn if we approached others thinking more about what we could learn from them rather than what we could impart to them.

Remember, if it were easy and independently gratifying it wouldn't be called DISCIPLINE.

Traditions

Traditions

My daughter, Sarah, came home this week from Dallas for the Thanksgiving holidays. As she began planning out her week at home, I was quickly informed that we would begin decorating the house for Christmas on Friday, the day after Thanksgiving. When I suggested that this would be a little early and that we should probably wait another week or so, she quickly protested and called her sister, Hannah, to support her position. They were both very outspoken and confident that we had ALWAYS decorated the day after Thanksgiving. It was tradition! We absolutely could NOT break with tradition after all these years.

The funny thing...I honestly don't remember ALWAYS decorating for Christmas the day after Thanksgiving. But I guess that really doesn't matter. My family now has a tradition, real or imagined, that has some pretty strong feelings attached. Traditions are like that. They become an expectation around which we can jointly identify; a landmark that assures us we are in familiar territory; and an event that provides emotional security. We would all be well advised to take note of the traditions at work and at home and make sure they are celebrated. Or better yet, introduce some new traditions this year.

Happy Thanksgiving! Guess I'll be hanging Christmas lights tomorrow.

Castle Walls

Castle Walls


occasionally, every leader must retreat temporarily. On the front lines, leaders are required to be self-sacrificing, out front, persevering in the face of opposition, tenaciously defending the cause, and tirelessly pressing toward the goal. It can be exhausting. I've been thinking a lot about the importance of retreating lately; of taking time out in a safe place to rest, reflect and regroup. I'm concerned that today's leaders don't prioritize and plan for retreat but I'm even more concerned that they don't have a PLACE to retreat. This led me to think about castles - the ultimate medieval retreat. Inside the castle walls the warrior could let down his guard, take off the armor, stow the weapons, stop looking over his shoulder, love his wife, play with the kids in the courtyard...You get the picture. And why was this possible? Planning and design. The medieval castle was designed with retreat and safety in mind. Let's look at the architecture of the castle:

• Walls - up to 20 feet thick and 40 feet high, these structures were designed to be impenetrable and unscalable.
• Moats - added protection against the enemy getting too close to the walls and possibly becoming undetected. Also kept hoists and ladders at bay.
• Drawbridge - tightly controlling everything coming into and leaving the castle.
• Portcullis - heavy, protective grilled gates opening and closing vertically at either end of a narrow passage way. A sort of "contingency" defense useful for trapping enemy troops successful in infiltrating the drawbridge.
• Watchtowers - set at each corner of the castle to provide keen monitoring of all the enemy activities and other approaching threats. Useful for surveying the activities within the castle walls as well.
• Authority and Order - the impressive defensive architecture of the castle was useless in the absence of clear direction and commitment on the part of the castle occupants. Peace and order on the inside only served to fortify the mechanical defenses.

I encourage you this week to evaluate your "castle." Is home a safe retreat? Have you been diligent to create an environment that is emotionally, physically, and spiritually healthy? If you haven't been intentional in this area, chances are you'll find at least a few vulnerable weaknesses. Make sure you know who and what is coming and going. Not just through the front door, but through cable TV and the internet. Ask a few close friends to help you make an objective assessment of where you might need to shore things up a bit. Make sure unconditional love is communicated freely, creatively, and enthusiastically. You'll be a better leader if you can effectively retreat from time to time.

"Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." 1 Peter 5:8 (NASB)