Refrigerator Faces

This morning as I reached for the cream for my coffee, still half asleep, I paused a moment to appreciate the smiling faces and warm expressions of dozens of old friends. Becky and I are greeted most mornings by these familiar faces. No, we don’t live in a commune and, no, we don’t host routine “sleep-overs.” These friends live on our refrigerator door. Sure, they are only two-dimensional images of the real thing and rarely (ok, never) do they use words to communicate their encouragement; but the familiarity of their faces is none-the-less encouraging. These are the folks who have shared many special occasions with our family; children’s birthdays and graduations, an occasional vacation or camping trip, and numerous backyard cookouts. It’s a Boen tradition that when we are blessed with a picture in a Christmas card or get lucky enough to snap a picture on a special occasion, the photo finds its way to the fridge.

Today, I’m especially grateful for these faces and take comfort in knowing that these people share many of my dreams, passions, and values. These friends also face many struggles and challenges familiar to me and my family. These people know me better than anyone else, yet, love and accept me. With these friends there is no pretending, no impressing, no posturing, and no competition. Their friendship has endured the test of time and they have earned lifetime membership on our refrigerator.

I pray that you will pause for a minute today to appreciate the encouraging faces in your life. Those familiar old friends can offer up security and confidence in unsettling times. They can renew your faith in the midst of doubt and trails. If the faces don’t come immediately to mind, maybe you should post them on your refrigerator.

Ramblings on “Social Networks”

There seems to be an emphasis by some these days to accumulate a lot of friends and expand their “social network.” Internet social utilities such as Facebook and MySpace have created a unique phenomenon whereby our circle of friends (or lack thereof) is publicly displayed and distilled to various lists and rankings. And so the race is on to see who can accumulate the biggest list of buddies, thereby boosting their on-line popularity quotient.

Reminds me of another race currently being run; that is, the race to see who will be the next leader of our great country. Not unlike those interested in boosting their on-line popularity, the runners in this race are frantically trying to accumulate friends of their own; often willing to remain elusive on issues so as not to risk offending anyone by taking a firm stand.

Be careful to keep friendship in perspective. Strive first to live a life of consistency and integrity and then enjoy the company of those who are drawn to you for the life you live out before them. King Solomon reminds us that “a man of too many friends comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Think about it.

Friends – Optional?

In the harried life of a leader, friendships rank right up there with sleep on the list of things we assume we can do without. But without at least a few trusted friends in our lives, we would spend most of our time interacting with those (other than family) who cross our path only because of some degree of obligation; our boss who is obliged to lead us in corporate endeavors, our co-workers who are obliged to tolerate us on their team regardless of their personal feelings, or our subordinates who are obliged to respect our leadership in exchange for continued employment. But our true fiends have no hidden agendas or motives. Only a friend who knows our heart can detect inconsistencies in our life and call us out, correcting our course. Only a friend who knows our dreams can celebrate those small successes that go unnoticed to the world around us and at the same time keep us anchored to reality. Only a friend who knows our thoughts can challenge us to keep them pure. No…friends are not optional.

Read about…
Jonathan's Friendship with David
Jesus' Friendship with the Disciples
Ruth's Friendship with Naomi

Inquiring Minds

I ask a lot of questions. Not to be nosy; just sincerely curious I think. When I eat lunch with my buddies, I like to ask things like what books they are reading, what keeps them up at night, and what accomplishments they are celebrating in their jobs. I’ve decided that the questions we ask of others can reveal our heart’s passion. For example, my wife and I share a desire to see young couples develop healthy, dynamic marriages and I find that when I’m around young married men I usually end up engaging them in a discussion about their marriage out of a desire to encourage them in their love for their wives. I’ve also got a friend who runs his own business and invariably when we are together I inquire how things are going with developing his new team at work; revealing my keen interest in leadership.

I’ve been reading lately about another man who liked to ask questions. Nehemiah of the Old Testament. Nehemiah was an amazing leader responsible for rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem around 445 B.C. His heart is revealed in the opening chapter of the biblical account bearing his name. Nehemiah’s brother and a few of his friends had traveled to Jerusalem and upon returning, Nehemiah was quick to ask about the condition of the Jews who had returned there from Babylonian captivity. Not, “How was your trip brother?” Not, “Did you do anything exciting on your vacation?” But, “What is the condition of our fellow Jews in the land of our Fathers.” This question was prompted by an urgency in his heart to see Jerusalem restored. Shortly after asking this question and hearing of the distress and reproach of his people, Nehemiah took leave of his prestigious position under the king of Persia, assembled supplies and laborers on his way to Jerusalem, established the city, and rebuilt the wall. Wow!

What great work is God stirring in your heart? It may be revealed in the questions you are asking today.